Original Music

Original Songs written and performed and sometimes videographed by myself Bill Lashure aka Guitarbeau

excuse me

| guitarbeau

Touching nerves on the result of a creative process.

There are many interpretations for the inclination behind the lyrics below.
Some song writers want to let the listener hear what they will and so don’t provide the lyrics.
Allowing the listener to ascribe their own particular impression into or onto what is heard.
I thought it might be of interest to explain each line as imagined at the time of writing, or as they seem to feel now.
But that might get tedious and would most definitely take away from the rhythm if such can be deduced from the reading of lyrics.
As something of a melody maker myself, there is the potential to put ones own musical spin onto what one is reading, especially if the original intent was musical.
Once years ago while reading Psalms, I heard in my mind accompanying the words being read, heavy metal music!
And when pressed for lyrics, I have been able to use the ingredients listed on a package of processed food as a means to convey a melodic idea!

As for these lyrics, (not above, below) they seem to stand perfectly well on their own.
Not really needing further elaboration.
I must admit though that it was these very lyrics that led me to conclude that the creative process can reveal oneself to oneself whether one wanted to do that or not.
And it kinda scared me!
What the hell am I trying to say to myself?
Do I really need to know this about myself?
Apparently.

Does anybody else need to know?

First and foremost art is made by and for the artist.
Something inside has to get out.
Something has to be done to be understood more fully.
Something of oneself clamors for expression!
We do it because we can, whether it wants outside attention or not.
It gets our attention.
Because it is necessary to make even if only for the process of creating something that has not existed before.
At least as far as ones own eyes, ears, hands and heart is concerned.
Of course derivation is always a part of any creation.
Something is made from what has been before.
‘Creative combinating’ I had called it in a previous post here on the blog.
The message isn’t always understood until after it is heard.
Even then it might not be immediately comprehended.
Alas, with out further ado.

waiting (lyrics)


Guess I,
shouldn’t feel like singing after all.
Trying to answer,
try to answer echoes.
Smelling smoke,
oh a fire barley glows.
Stinging hope.
Rubbing salt into the prose.

Moving ahead riding shotgun on a whim.
You can lead it, it can follow,
you can just give out, give up, give in.
Stand tall with in a shadow cast by visions blue and dim
Too busy looking on,
there’s no time,
to look with in,
there’s no time,
to look with in.

Waiting for,
evocation true and clear.
Illustrating the mind,
a fight with words no one hears.
Time ran on,
time ran out,
oh time got in the way.
Is what I said, what you heard,
is it what I meant to say?

Tied to ancient chains slow to ring the freedom bell.
With barbed wire words stand and complain,
don’t always understand it, though it sounds the same.
Think enough about yourself,
enough to quench the pain.
Think you’ve found an answer,
well the questions,
still remain,
they still remain,
they still remain.

So easy to pretend to be fine,
it so easy,
to pretend.
So easy to intend to find,
change.
Before a season ends,
before a new reason begins.

Time,
dissolve and amend.
So I guess maybe I,
I might feel like singing after then.

so whats all this then?

So what was it about these words that scared me?
Admitting albeit in a round about way that, an awareness of my flaws might behoove me to step down from the ego-tactical pedestal I stand on.
Also, it seems I might be making excuses for making excuses about my excuses for not creating even whilst being creative.
And wanting to sing about it!
How’s that for irony!?

hears the song

waiting

merci

UNother

| guitarbeau

sound cloud has a new artist

scotch and second thoughts

I don’t know.
Is it the desire to make some sort of progress?
Having maintained an unwillingness to connect, ask for help.
All the while recognizing a need for such.
Connection / Help.
Wanting to hide in a relative obscurity.
Long term, it all becomes obscure so…?
What is there to be afraid of?

I DON’T WANT ANY TROUBLE

Having been a self involved and self indulgent sort for so long it is a challenge to acknowledge I might be wrong about my choices thus far.
About my devout narcissism and unflinching desire to remain alone and untroubled by the rest of the world.
Meanwhile the world remains as it is, untroubled by me.

The effort to make oneself a going concern is quite the quandary!
I matter to me but do I need to matter to you to feel…?

Whole, complete, worthwhile, considered?

Beyond of course the perfunctory consternations, comprised of past compilations and complications, contrived by conditioned considerations that may or may not be relevant anymore !?

D’accord (of course) the mirror works both ways.
Do you need to matter to me to feel…?

Whole, complete, worthwhile, considered…?

ETC..

These feelings are possible irrespective of others, though the contributions that interaction with others contracts, enacts, protracts and exacts, can embellish said capacity to feel and that is perhaps a salient point on which to proceed with the potential dilemmas or delights such interaction can result in.

Allowing understanding (standing under ((Is that even possible?)) and did I use parentheses right?) of another and especially of oneself to develop!?

What’s the matter?
How does one choose to PRESENT is difficult!
One can choose to interact with whatever spirit one can manifest.
MELONCHOLIQUE
IRONIQUE
HISTRIONIQUE
(sorry I’m french at my core) ( even if incorrect I am still french!)
How does one choose to be PRESENT ?

I am the same as you yet different.
Wanting to maintain an existence and make the most of the matter I am from the matter that is?
How then to not get sucked into the ego tactical maneuvers that seem to make up so much of existence?

ISO help to facilitate sharing but with the caveat that I get credit for doing so!
Is sharing in and of itself not enough?

“There is no limit to what one can accomplish if one does not care who gets the credit!”
Uncertain of the source but the phrase has always reverberated.

What does one want to accomplish that matters so much and that credit would be irrelevant?

The dog I live with won’t let me comb his hair.
He accepts massages, petting, food and living arrangements but refuses to be groomed.
To what end?
His rear end!
His feces sticks to his fur and from my own experience, when feces sticks to my “fur” I prefer it not be thus.
Plus there are the burrs and other various flora and fauna that a long haired dog is bound to accumulate living in the Sonoran Desert.

Maybe it is about control.
I want him to be groomed cause he is a reflection of me somehow.
However after being informed by an appreciative onlooker that “he is a beautiful dog” my response is “yes but I had nothing to do with that” this despite my desperate and disparate attempts at grooming him.
Irregardless he seems content.
Yes I wrote irregardless despite my vain awareness of someone else’s awareness that such conjugating is redundant and irrelevant.
But so is almost everything in existence save for what our perception allows as to observable facts.
Which are just interests in things that are what they are but also what we wish them to be.

Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes “ To the making of many books there is no end and much devotion to them is wearisome to the flesh” But I suppose it depends on the reader and the books. Besides all things eventually weary the flesh. So read anyway and enliven the experience and observation of the known universe as well the unknown.

merci

out of the corner of my eye

| guitarbeau
an original tune

It has been awhile since I’ve had a notion to put anything out into the world as it were.
Usually avoiding doing that for reasons I continually guess at but am sometimes like now interested in circumventing for some reason.
So there’s this then..

I have had so many crushes over time.

Attractions, hopes, dreams, someone or thing that might open me up, like to or let me shine.

And the battle betwixt idealism and cynicism ensues.
I tend to err on the side of idealism til it comes time to put up or shut up.
then the cynic in me runs the show.
Who needs what and or why. Well lets let the idealist run rampant and show its propensity for…
IDEALISM!

The ‘Corner of my Eye’ song was the result of a crush a long time ago.
I still have the picture I drew of my hoped for inamorata.
I have lots of pictures of hoped for inamorata.
I have a number of songs as well inspired by hoped for inamorata.
But that’s a quandary for another post.

As I have come to appreciate there is more to life and love than just the significant other many of us crave.
As a result I reworded some of the original lyrics to try and reflect that.
Such are visible but not audible in the video.
Whether they convey the broadness of heart that I intend remains to be understood.
If any are curious enough to spot the differences I thank you for you interest in my meandering melodrama.

But thanks especially for listening.

Recently I realized how musical ideas can morph and be rewritten and do not have to be engraved in stone before they are released into the wild.
So here is ‘Out of the Corner of My Eye’ circa 1989 that still resonates with me but as mentioned I have a slightly different take on the sentiments expressed.

Sentiments, sensations being what they are, can be obtained by various means.

Can be the same feeling despite the instance that causes it.

Heart racing because of a near miss causing an accident, a public speaking engagement, a chance meeting with someone you admire.

All resulting in the heart racing but for very different reasons.

And so words can express various feelings with out necessarily being only about the one thing and yet over all are about the one thing.

Maybe my verbosity gets the better of me as does the vagaries of life that seem to want to demand less demanding and more deferring to possibility.

And as I experiment with this music and alternative instrumentation, that also maybe heard someday.

But for now there is this from then when I was wishful wistful and musical!

merci

occaissional smoke

| guitarbeau

Occasional Smoke a music video

What I am working on.
‘the occasional smoke’
a demo of a song.
Here so others can access it and contribute their part.
I can’t quite put my finger on where the ideas come from.
Though now that I think about it, there is quite bit of combining going on.
The first chord is a variation of Gm7 and C9 from Rocket Man by Elton John.
The intro bass line is possible because my current abilities can easily combine to make that happen.
When it changes to the slower bluesy part that’s where I get to struggle and where my effort needs to be focused.
Voicing the chords, using different inversions but the same notes whilst the bass line left hand part does its thing that’s the challenge.
Le Défi as the french say.
There are other recognizable musical conventions employed throughout, to make it accessible.
Recognizable yet still demonstrating some originality.
It is as much a learning process as it is a creative production.

There are of course other issues.
Energy to follow through.
What should be addressed next.
The other aspects of producing multi media art.
Distracted by the next stimulating thing.
This can be another song, sketch, video photo op, thankfully not just a tv show or some such.
And of course wanting to make it the best it can be.
Perfectionism it can derail the process because it can always be better.
But it also is what it is so there you have it.

Words to live by

IRREGARDLESS

So ‘irregardless’ (I know some hate that word I used to be one of them, I’m not anymore) because in the overall scheme of things what does it matter?
If it gets noticed by any or ignored by many.
The point seems to be, does it matter to me enough to do it irregardless.

My cousin, my evil twin recently passed and she know that I did not care for the word ‘irregardless’
So being the evil twin that she was made a video game avatar and facebook page for the character she named:

Irregardlessee

Irregardlessee.

She did this because in my linguistic capabilities or the lack there of especially in french.
I would conjugate at whim and did so with the word I now think I live by:

probablemente

Probably.
Seems like a useful life motto
She said the construct did not exist in her experience and it offended her.
So of course make an avatar name her ‘Irregardlessee’ to try and provoke my ire.
It did not, but we had fun dealing with such things.

Ironiquely I don’t really care that much about the word, I was just parroting off some comment another had made that I must’ve thought sounded intelligent so I adopted the posture of linguistic exemplar to foster an aspect of my identity I could feel good about.
Hence another example of creative combinating I’ve put to use to have something to say.

But wait there’s more

As if to demonstrate the evilness of both twins, she eventually did hear a French newscaster use the word ‘probablemente’
So vindicated I was right all along and my identity as a linguistic exemplar remains intact!
However I miss my evil twin immensely.

I have my memories to keep me challenged by our new proximity.

We visited Carcassonne France in 2016 here are some memories of that.

M E R C I

combinating creatively

| guitarbeau

manifesting musical multi media musings

Here are couple of video’s I made for A.C. Hampton, Sr. to share his music on youtube.

The one titled ‘look at the sky’ is of the Arizona sky at various times, some shots might be a bit dizzying!
Like humanity the sky has many moods.
As we watch it will change.
As do moods and the thoughts that create them.
Best not to leave the light on one thought or mood too long and miss those that are yet to come.

For the song ‘cruzin’ I made a video animating some questions.
These questions are usually the result of the plethora of options seemingly available to pursue.

Which way is forward?
Which way is up?
Why is?
Why not?
Optionalities abound.

poetically incorrect

Yes I get creative linguistically.
Taking liberties with verbiage.
As well as what constitutes animation.
Proffering another way to imagine and experience.
Part of my process to invigorate innovation.

impressions ? comment below

Either of the music or imagery or both!


Contact me for availability to create video and music for your project.

merci

En Fin Circles the video

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Artwork for this post.
and of course the audio which really is the important part of this enterprise.

Music as Shapes

So I wrote Circles on guitar, circa 2004. The lyrics came much later and are based loosely on an infatuation I was having at the time. At the time I gave no thought to the time signature, in 6/8 to the best of my guesstimation, not my usual modus operandi! However the main draw which prompted pursuit of this musical idea was the shape of the pattern I began with. The idea was to take that shape and invert it on the guitar betwixt the chorus and the verse. That is, viewed as a shape the chords made on the fret board, played in one direction for the chorus and shifting up a whole step in the verse and subsequently reversed or inverted the shape and thus provide its distinctive sound. This was, in my mind, away to generate novel musical structures visually. This video is my most recent attempt at resurrecting this song, rhythm section and all. When I first recorded it in 2004 I was able to get more elaborate with the drums and bass thanks to a little program called cubase. I even got the program to play a piano emulating the guitar part. I have since learned to play the keyboard myself. Though my interpretation of the guitar part is not note for note, as it was with a score editor in the edition of cubase I have, which is no longer available to play it and I lost the file though the recording still exists. I am happy with this recent version. Note I wrote about wanting to accomplish this effort in 2019.

Music and Media

I wanted a video to share it because, I hear so many good things about the internet gravy train that many are on and I wanted to get on board and decorate my mashed potatoes accordingly! But being a perfectionist recent audio and video efforts left me wondering is this ready enough to share? I almost released a previous version because the audio recording was done, its what you will hear here, and I was tired of battling my ego on the visual front. But after repeated editing attempts with the early shoots, I realized it could be better. So I reshot the video, synced it as best I could, and voila!, something I can put out there, to an audience of maybe? Also my mission statement is ‘Music and Media to Incite Insight and Invigorate Innovation’ so there is that to contend with and aid with maintaining a measure of consistency here on the blog.

Insight and Innovation

So the innovative part was the guitar pattern being viewed a a visual construct rather than a musical one. Even though music was the result intended. I have yet to be able to similarly visualize patterns on the piano keyboard but am nevertheless enamored of the instrument and perhaps in time and with practice I will see patterns emerge I can play with. Though my recent advice to practice with ones eyes closed might seem to run contrary to that premise!?.

So, what has been the challenge concerning my on again off again romance with the recording arts? Time and inspiration? Presently the desire to share can be agonizing. So much is already out there and to get anyone to listen let alone pay attention only contributes to that struggle. Then generating the confidence to share with a world that probably won’t notice almost seems moot. As for songwriting, the process sometimes tells me things I don’t want to hear but should be dealing with, it demanding attention in an inimitable way. So avoidance is one reason I don’t write and record like I might otherwise. This despite claiming to be a musician / songwriter, the work can be painful on a number of fronts. Effort and emotion being the primary instigators of my nonchalance. To develop a song completely, at least the way I do it requires a commitment that seems to want for a payoff of some kind other than the song itself, and to be more than merely entertained by the process, and/or heaven forbid, informed by it!. Yet shouldn’t that be its own reward, art for arts sake, for the sake of the artist?

Artists of all kinds might be dealing with similar concerns and constraints such as mine. Yet. It has been said that masterworks do not arise in a vacuum. The masterful spend countless innumerable hours working at their craft, creating as they would, regarding something that mattered, creating. This despite the vicissitudinaryness of life, or in spite of it. They work at their craft pleasing the creator with in and hoping probably, for the observers from without to also take note. But even if that didn’t happen so what, something surely is gleaned from the experience and progress, inching towards a better version of the next creation or themselves can’t be a bad thing.

SO Then

As is ever the case, and this is obviously true for more than just myself. There are other unlimited idealistic aspirations clamoring for attention, and these want to be developed as well. Drawing, building, making, creating, even seeking away to survive on these efforts, is a creative act. This seems a challenge when so many want to share their masterworks in the making. How to choose what to peruse? Perhaps we can be grateful so many creative energies are being brought to the fore. Though the ever flowing wellspring of creative pursuits might seem overwhelming, it should allow us to realize we are not alone in wanting to do likewise. At the very least we are doing it because we want to and it’s important that we do. Someone will benefit if not directly from our creations then indirectly by letting our creativity flourish and express itself we can be more comprehending in our everyday interactions.

So as the song suggests “In circles, run around” “Fly- – around in circles”. There are other songs to record, other projects to see through other things to share regardless if I get attention or not. I do because I want to, I don’t for the same reason, just depends on the…?

The NPR Tiny Desk Concert Submission Post

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Self Portrait: The artist as motivated to try something different!?
I didn’t mention this at the time but..

I really just needed to put something out, get heard as it were. After writing and recording so many songs, and doing nothing with them this seemed like a momentum moment, actuating motivation!? So after having put it out there under the auspices of a contest. I am now second guessing what did I do, by signing over all the rights to use my song Rattle Snake Jane as they see fit, and realizing this is regardless if I win or not?

Getting the ‘You tube channel’ up and running for the submission process was almost too easy. Having been wanting to start one for awhile now. However generating relevant content that I am pleased to put up, is another story. Still a plethora of ideas continues to flow in, preoccupy and befuddle my abilities at follow through but nevertheless, I am willing to continue this endeavour.

but I hate the way I look on camera!

So that means, making videos where I am performing is a challenge. Still I try and get creative with the process, much to my dismay sometimes, as I struggle to puzzle together the next offering in iMovie, or some other program I have available in order to cobble together the disparate views of my idealogy. Yep, I spelt it that-a-ways for reasons you are of course, always free to think about!

I really should plan my posts better

I am always thinking about a graphic after I’ve started writing but get so excited that I actually wrote something that I don’t want to wait to publish before I can find something visual to include here. Then there is the editing, and getting hung up on placement of and defining nevertheless, and momentum moment, and what should probably be a link, but is not, to my idealogy!?

Alack there are more dagblammit ideas to pursue!

So I need to get back to work on editing the next video, so there will be something to write about next. I am contemplating a patreon page so my massive fan base can show their support, but that seems like a lot of work and I always feel like I need to have more to show to warrant such consideration. I did try a self portrait recently that was outside of my usual approach to art, so that’ll be the graphic for this post.

As always leave a comment if you wish, and thanks for reading.

Circles 10/4/19

| guitarbeau

Round and round he goes where he stops nobody knows!

So this is overdue, at least as I had planned it. But wouldn’t you know, other possibilities presented themselves in order to try to make this a more cohesive whole. Then I read something on Medium from Ayodeji Awosika
about “embracing the suck” How the first 100 blog posts, or song attempts, or presentations are not going to be the best one is capable of. But it takes all those to get to the good ones, to the better examples of ones capabilities. So while I drafted an outline for this post, basing it on the songwriting, recording and publication process. And contemplated how best to demonstrate that. I felt a video would be the most viable expression of the effort but time and perfectionism has not let me realize that at this time. So even though I am “embracing the suck” I still know I can do better than just throwing something out here and leaving it at that. I mean I made an outline for this! Again, to strive for a little continuity and purpose I suppose more than any thing.

So the outline went like this and I am using a song I already wrote and complete but not recorded. So definitely listen for that here next post.

Develop an idea. in this case a chord progression that would change position at a point in the song and be figured/played in an inverse way to see what contrast/inspiration that would generate.

Write Create Edit. Fairly self explanatory took awhile to get lyrics, tried writing in french even enlisted my mother on that front to see if that gave it more charm.

Record Embellish Overdub. Lush it out, make some juxtapositions to make the auditory experience something to relish. I also transcribed it on the keyboard, as I am in the habit of doing with my guitar originated songs. Both to develop skill on that instrument as well as afford alternative opportunities of musical performance.

Administrative. Copyright. This seems a foregone conclusion, but of all the music I’ve created over the years I’ve yet to do this one thing. Perhaps due in some part to the fact it doesn’t get heard often, and I hem and haw about it. But it can be a useful thing to have as a component in the finale of my outline. And aid as an incentive in the process of wanting to get it out there!

Promote and Publish. Make a video as previously mentioned, describe the process, share related art work.

So that has yet to be completed after all this time. Perfectionism being what it is I err on the side of edit some more. So I have this to offer instead.

Dodecagons

Alas something musical!

So this is the 12 note names of the western musical scale with associated key signs in the treble or G clef for reference. This being a significant part of the Sonic Spider Web awaiting patent application to reveal the full concept it is shared here. You will see that instead of the common circle of fifths, the notes are displayed sequentially as the notes would occur on a musical instrument. Some notes/tones have two names, this is called enharmonic, sounds the same but is written differently, depending on the key sign a musical piece is composed in. This information is a primary building block of musical understanding. I hope you find it useful.

G Clef

So this symbol in the Guitarbeau logo is meant to stand in for the G of guitarbeau!

At it anew 8/30/2019

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mission statement
Mission Statement rather broad but I needed one!

So I am changing the site name to reflect some alternative choices I have made to make this site more appealing, as if that were even possible! As a content generator I am challenged by what to put up here. Having as I imagine many do, a plethora of interests and projects to pursue and peruse. I choose this change to be more conducive to getting this stuff out there. Also I have been wanting to be more involved in what can maybe best be described as, the shameless self promotion in furtherance of my ideals. We’ll see how well that goes. But the process should be fun, and I want to be useful entertaining and pertinent while I still can.

Is it just going to be music and media? What qualifies or can be quantified as media? I do not want to limit my self here. But as I have a significant investment in music to make that a prominent feature, that will be the strongest of projects to promote. Despite the somewhat amateurish production values the music is still there, wanting and waiting to be enjoyed. As for the media part, I make art, draw, paint (digitally), photocraft and create as often as able. And will in due course put it here, though some of it already is. How much to reveal of the process before I become a bore or a chore to understand is already provoking me to curtail my explanation at this time and do some art or music today or at least link some of the aforementioned!?